I have school today. But only until 1:00pm — then we’re off to home to wait out the storm. It’s already pretty gray and pretty cold here; I’m not sure what this is going to be like in the long run.
My Tai Chi practice was iffy to rosy. I wouldn’t say it was completely awesome — but there were some wonderful things about it. For one, my breath and focus were exactly on point. I did those quite well, and I was pleased with the result. I didn’t go too fast, but I didn’t go slow enough. If I’m facing any particular challenge with my tai chi these days, it lies in going too quickly most of the time. This is only changed by careful dedication to smooth movements and careful attention to each limb’s gradual movement forward and back. And that comes only with…
It’s funny to discover how frequently that underlies everything that I do. One might wish it weren’t the case; it would be nice to go out and buy a pair of leather pants, a frilly shirt, a guitar, and be a rock star tomorrow. But rock stars get to be rock stars through a combination of performance and practice — they get up afternoon after afternoon, and play late into the night, in order to become the performers they wish to be. Once, I noted that many, many rock bands in the amateur-to-almost-professional range seem to have a broad repertoire of songs; but they never broke through the dynamics barrier — that is, they never seemed to master the challenge of playing both loudly and softly. The bands that can do both seem to have a much better chance of making it.
And that’s where I am in my tai chi practice; I’m trying to cross the dynamics barrier, and learn how to play my tai chi both softly and slowly, at a downtempo deliberateness. This is difficult, and it’s clearly what separates the hordes of the merely competent from the solitary master.
I don’t know that I’ll ever be the master. It seems unlikely. But it’s possible that I’ll get there. Eventually. I just have to take it slow.