This ongoing allergic reaction has really knocked me down. I had one dollop of half-and-half in my coffee this morning, which did not immediately result in mucosal muck clogging my sinuses. Also I ran into someone at the grocery store who was having similar issues: feeling poorly, clogged throat, but no chest congestion and no sinus blockage except with dairy. So maybe 1) the worst of it is over and 2) it’s not a result of my aborted attempt at cheese production last week and getting accidentally dosed with rennet somehow.
All the same, today and the last few days have been about doing and completing the tai chi practice rather than developing or perfecting that practice. Getting it done has been the goal, not achieving any deeper level of success with it.
Today for example, my two Qi gong forms took about four minutes each. My tai chi form took another 6. None were performed with any grace or deliberateness. All three were about getting it done and claiming another day of success.
I don’t feel successful. On paper I suppose, this is another completed day. In my mind, it feels like a cheat.
But on another level, I’m aware that this is a marathon, not a sprint. There are going to be days or weeks when the work is sub-par and that’s probably normal. We can’t be inventive and creative all the time; there’s a need for fallow time in our work just as much as in the work of nature. That’s the way of things.
The quality of my earlier efforts will return, just as better health will return, in time.