I had a busy morning today, and I’ve only just been able to sit down post-tai chi to write this entry (just before hauling myself into the dentist’s chair for a cavity filling. Eek. I hate this part of dentistry. At least I’ll get novacaine — I’m not ready for to transcend dental medication yet). Not only was yesterday my 3700th post but I’m a nerve-wrackingly close 141 views away from 100,000 visits to my blog, a big milestone. It’s the getting-to-the-milestone that’s killing me… In the last few months, I’ve wracked up an impressive number of 1,000 visitor days and 500+ visitor days… which means that, if I get another day like that, I’m suddenly over 100,00 visitors. But if I get my usual 20-40 visitors a day, it will take another week. The whole thing leaves me on tenterhooks.
My awareness of the busy morning, meanwhile, did not lead to a very calming practice. My qi gong practice was fine — I started about 6:20, and finished about 6:43. Which is great — usually it takes a lot less time than that, and this was decently slow and calming. Then I did the tai chi practice, starting at 6:44.
I finished at 6:45. How did I go that fast?
So I did it again, deliberately much slower this time, and with more attention to the pause at the end of each movement in the sequence.
And again. Time to do it again.
I don’t think this is what was meant by slow, slower, tortoise. At all.
Usually it takes me 20 minutes or so at my slowest to work through the tai chi form. At my fastest, it takes me maybe 8 minutes. Today I broke the land speed records for tai chi. Sigh. Clearly I wasn’t in the right headspace for it this morning.
I also woke up carrying a lot of extra energy around. Yesterday, for a lot of different reasons, was a high energy day and I had raised a lot of chi. It had gathered in my hands, which is usually a signal to me that it wants out, and it wants to help. So, I made a little releasing gesture, and thought through a list of people I know who need healing or help with healing in the world, and I felt a little packet of energy go flying off to various destinations all over the place. It was kind of comforting and rewarding.
Maybe the reason I was having such trouble with the tai chi exercises this morning, is that my body was unwilling to take on a new burden of energy in the face of all the energy it had just released. I don’t know if that’s how it works, but maybe it does. In any case, despite the speed with which I worked this morning, I feel as though I completed the tai chi work for the day. I might try to return to it later today, but as I said, it’s a busy day. Maybe later.