Is it bad that I have no idea what to write? I mean, “Ok, I’ve been writing about the same subject for 620 days… at what point does it get boring?”
Is it bad that I can’t put my palms flat on the floor any more? Is it good that my joints don’t hurt any more? Is it bad that I haven’t lost much weight? Is it good that I’ve sort of changed shape? Is it bad that I’m still struggling to adopt the dietary habits that appear to support the tai chi regimen I’m carrying out? Is it good that my overall health seems to have improved substantially?
It just is.
I think that’s something of the point, really. It just is. Somewhere in the last month or so, I’ve shifted from doing tai chi because I committed to it, to doing it because it’s just what I do. I’m not sure I can identify where that shift occurred, nor can I confirm that I’ll always feel this way; but I know that there’s something about it which calls to me now, and urges me to do the work no matter how long I laze around in bed, nor how much I try to put it off. It’s time, the form calls to me, and it’s time to do the work. It’s doing me, now, rather than the other way around.