It’s like the first day of school all over again.
First there was all this dawdle and delay about getting started. There were dishes in the sink that needed washing, and I felt like I needed to brush my teeth before getting started. On and on, a list of small tasks; I even finished putting away the sewing equipment (from making this little bracer prototype from scrap cloth last night [which looks like it belongs in an 80’s rock video, truth be told]).
But then I got started. Finally. And I did a half an hour of tai chi. Somewhere in the middle of it, my brain ‘flipped’ from not wanting to do it, to wanting to do it. It recognized at first that it was being pushed to do more than it had done before, and resisted. And then, in the middle of the third or fourth walk-through of the form, it said, “Oh, ok. This is what you’re doing? More than once or twice? OK. We can do this.” And I did it.
Getting over that brain-flip, from not wanting to do it, to wanting to do it, was the battle of the day. I have this suspicion that there will be more such battles ahead, and not all of them will be pretty at all. But — the effort to collect more time in my tai chi practice has begun, and we’ll see how that goes.