TaiChi Y2D178: I don’t wanna

I don’t want to do tai chi today. I’m tired and sore, and I want to sleep. Why do I have to? Why am I doing this to myself? I don’t want to.

It’s my practice. That’s what I tell myself. It’s what I do.

Yes, but how about a day off? Just this once?

One day turns into two, I think. Two turns into four. And four means an abandoned practice.

It’s been a year and six months. A little break wouldn’t kill you. I’m crying here. I don’t wanna. I’m tired. It’s only one practice. You could do it later in the day.

it’s a busy day. Planning to do it later is risky. No,it has to be done now.

And so it is done. And I’ve done it. Two qi gong routines, and the tai chi form later, and I can say, that wasn’t so bad. I didn’t want to when i woke up. But, I’m glad that I did. it’s a curious thing. Why does my body try to avoid it so often, and yet enjoy it so much in the aftermath of the work and the forms? I don’t know.

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One comment

  1. […] Back on Day 178 this year, I was thinking about skipping a day. Just one. Would it be so bad?  I didn’t. And part of the reason why I didn’t, is that it’s too easy for one day of non-practice to turn into three or four.  And then you’re stuck.  I wonder if there will be enough of an energy boost from this year’s end, as there was last year, to feel impelled to keep going.  I hope so; because today was very similar to day 178 in some ways — finding the time to get started, and then the intention to begin, was almost as hard as at the beginning, back on Day 1. […]

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