I’ve been experimenting with my personal daily practice a bit over the last few weeks. I’ve still been doing tai chi, but I’ve been experimenting with some other layers and elements around it. Some of these have been successful, some haven’t. it’s pretty typical.
One of the things I’ve been experimenting with is ten pushups a day. It’s not much, and I do them badly. Thin arms, big body, and the results are fairly predictable. But I keep at it. Bad pushups are still better than none at all when it comes to building stronger arms.
This morning,I found myself doing tai chi postures in the wrong direction. I retraced my steps, tried to figure out what I’d done wrong. I couldn’t reconstruct my actions, though, or find the error in procedure. A step too long? A turn too far? A posture left out?
What I decided is that it didn’t matter. The work I’d done counted. If I have a chance to do it again today, I will, and I’ll likely do it better. But perfect practice requires more time than I’m prepared to give the work right now. It’s better to let go of attachment to results or proper form, and let the form move me as it needs to do, at least for the moment.