Today I repeated the tai chi form with barely a pause between the first go through and the second, not because i screwed up the first time, but because I wanted to do so. There was a joy in the work and the practice for the first time in weeks, and rather than tai chi being an odious chore, today it was a joyous act of love. What shifted? What changed? I’m not sure, exactly. I mean, yesterday felt like a chore. Today felt easy and beautiful.
It’s not like there weren’t mistakes. I had to start the qi gong form, five golden coins, over again after the third move, because I did the first bit of Give Golden Coins combined with the last few bits of Eight Pieces of Silk. Whoops. Oh well. I restarted, and did fine.
As I finished the main tai chi form for the first time, though, I thought, “wow… I’m not even breathing hard. Too easy.” and I turned to the right, swept my hands left, and began again. There was a wonder in the second pass-through, an easy sway to it, and I was able to pay greater attention to my breath than to the the physical motions. Yet even the breath felt different, like I was on the verge of laughter all the time.
The work should make you feel happy, at least some of the time. It’s not going to be all joy and pink roses, but today doing the tai chi made me feel happy and joyous and at peace. And why not? Why tnot give in to that sense from time to time, and take joy in the moment?