Today during the tai chi forms, I had an unusual sensation that I haven’t felt in a while: boredom. It’s one of the most insidious forms that the Dweller on the Threshold can take: after all, if you’re bored by an activity, chances are that anyone you try to talk to about it will be bored, too. In response, I tried to perform more seriously, and refocused myself. So I began doing each move more carefully, and with more ferocity. One of the ways that I do that is I start trying to move through the form blind, with my eyes closed. Your eyes can deceive you. Don’t trust them.
And the response was fire in my eyes. I mean that, literally. I had my eyes closed, and suddenly it was like my eyeballs were on fire. Warmth, heat, flashing and flickering light…
I opened my eyes. As I was moving, it seems, the light from behind the blinds in the living room was flashing around the edges of the blinds. Direct sunlight was hitting my closed eyelids, and flashing against my eyes and my optic nerves, producing an image like fire. Beautiful oranges and golds and yellows — wow, where did this all come from.
It wasn’t the same after that. Knowing how the illusion was produced meant that I couldn’t continue with my eyes closed. But as I worked through the rest of the qi gong maneuvers, and the tai chi form, I knew that I had felt energy stirring in me, and I was no longer bored.