On Monday my dad took me to a new doctor. His name is Dr. Bloom, and his practice is down in White Plains. Dr. Bloom claims to be a practitioner of Functional Medicine. His philosophy, he said, is that there are thousands of doctors who only treat disease — the total breakdown of the body — and who never consider preventative measures. For example, there are dozens of ways to treat diabetes, but none of the ‘treatments’ deal with the original cause of diabetes, which is the body’s failure to absorb insulin, and the increase of fat on the body.
So. He had me get on a scale, and weighed me. Two hundred eighty-one pounds. So. Then he had me lie down on a platform/bed, and hooked me up to some electrodes. The resistance of the current passing through me supposedly would measure the amount of productive tissue (muscle and organ), the amount of skelton (structural) and ligaments, and the amount of storage tissue I had. A different current, applied slightly differently, also revealed my metabolic rate.
Who’d have guessed? I have a lot of storage tissue. I have about 80 pounds of fat, relative to a desirable 30 pounds. So I need to lose about 50 pounds of fat. But I am also, as the phrasing goes, “big-boned”, and “strong like bull.” I have a lot of muscle and productive tissue and a lot of storage tissue. So the goal is to reduce the storage tissue, and increase the muscle mass, and raise the metabolic rate.
So I have these pills, and this protein shake in the morning. And then a nutrition bar at mid-morning, and then a healthy lunch with pills, some nuts around mid-afternoon, and a healthy dinner with some more pills, and then maybe an apple if I’m peckish at 9pm or so. The pills are a cinnamon extract to improve insulin control, an amino acid of some sort which helps build mitochondria, and omega-3 fatty acids to build up cellular walls.
So far it’s working. I weighed 273 yesterday, and today I seem to be at 271. So I’ve lost 10 pounds of my fat, and I feel good. So far, so good. On the other hand, this doctor is expensive, and it’s not really covered by insurance. So what happens when I’ve lost the fifty pounds and need to eat at school, on a school-declared diet again? Hmmm?