I was sitting in the library this morning, minding my own business, correcting exams, when a burning, cramping sensation popped out of nowhere, beginning in my groin and shooting up my right side, over my hip, and around to my spine. Damn, I thought, I’ve developed another kidney stone. But wait, this ache went in reverse — instead of starting in the kidneys and working its way down, it started in the bladder and worked its way up. So, I thought, the stone is coming out at last!
I went to the bathroom. Hey, I thought, if I can’t pass the stone, at least I can give expression to the nausea I’m feeling… I tried to piss. I tried pooping. Nothing. In some pain, I headed back to the library. It wasn’t coming yet. By the time I got to the library though, I had to go again. This time I got a dribble, but no stone. Walk back to the library. This time I was certain I had to go, though — the walking seemed to be exacerbating the need to pee. And so I went back to the bathroom. By this point, the aches and discomfort have been replaced by serious pain, and I’m absolutely desperate to pee; I’m hopping to keep myself from pissing my pants. The hopping is also complicating the pain in my right hip and back. Erk.
And I pee. One long bright stream, with reddish undertones. For a moment, I see of flash of something oblong and white, trailing what looks like a bit of red flesh along with it. I hear, or imagine, the little plinking sound of this whitish object striking the porcelain; it’s got a nice ringtone, like a singing bowl. Then it’s gone. This is followed by real blood in my urine, and for a teensy bit of time I am actually peeing red, which is both phenomenally scary and simultaneously relieving, because it means the stone is gone.
I step back, and bend down to get what I think is the stone… and I realize that in my desperation I have used one of the auto-flush urinals. So it’s gone, and my doctor is going to be really pissed at me.
The ultrasound is next week. We’ll see if I’ve still got the other one. It’s now three hours since the incident in the men’s washroom, and there’s no more blood in my urine, and the pain and the ache is gone. I felt better instantly.