I did a half-hour of tai chi this morning, after a half-hour of druidic ceremony and meditation. It was a good practice; I did 20 push-ups, two qi gong forms, and the form three times. I’m getting to the point that this is normal.
But I’m surprised, too. The emotions I’m feeling about this process are exactly the same as the ones I felt when I began doing tai chi four years ago. What I mean by this, is that I’m waking up, thinking to myself “wow, I really don’t want to do a half-hour of tai chi today,” and then shaking it off. I climb out of bed, go into the office and do the half-hour of work, and then I think “what was the big deal about not wanting to do that?”
It’s the return of the Watcher on the Threshold, really. It’s this energy form that says, “don’t do that, just rest here in bed… once through the form is enough… really, you don’t have to do that.” And it’s in the way of what I would like to be and how I would like to become.
Time to push past it.