It’s been fifteen months of daily tai chi, and I came quite close to quitting this morning. Not in any sort of dramatic way, just … stood in my office, wondering whether to start or not. I almost walked away. And then I started. And about 27 minutes later, I was done.
Why was I so ready to walk away this morning? I don’t know. Some of it may have been boredom. Some was maybe frustration. There are few outward signs of the effort. It’s hard to tell if there’s been any success at all, externally.
I’m glad I didn’t quite quit this morning. I’m glad I did the work. But part of me wonders if this is how it will end, not with a whimper or a bang, but with a simple walking-away?
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Andrew, I really do admire that you do this every day. I’m still in the learning phase, although with someone next to me or making an occasional suggestion I can complete the whole short form. But it’s taken 17 months, not been easy, and I am feeling frustrated that I’m still not secure in the order of the moves. I’ll be glad when I can execute the form more easily because I know my (not-daily) practice will become different and I can focus on the T’ai Chi in a different way.