Wrote this for the Syracuse Reading, where their theme was “letters of complaint” during the open mic before my feature.
Dear Pope Benedict: I have a complaint.
There’s all these issues you’ve come out against.
Dan Brown’s take on DaVinci makes you faint;
Harry Potter’s ventures leave you incensed.
Mr. Darwin’s theories earn your disdain;
and you won’t let women make priestly vows
while helping pedophile priests to remain
with token confessions and empty bows.
You claim your teaching is always the same,
but Jesus didn’t treat children like shit,
he didn’t fill women wth fear and shame,
and he didn’t fault those who did their bit
to resist evil. Rethink what you teach,
and try harder to practice what you preach.