Haiku Classics Deathmatch

and I had dinner with at Sakura. Sushi, yummy. Went to WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS at the new location at QVCC. Stayed until about 9:40 when had to head for home. Played Classics Haiku with and . SOme of the ones below came out of that. Write twenty or so of your own, and we can publish a chapbook that’s also a review of important literature; perhaps it can benefit the slam team, and perhaps it could benefit the food pantry at QVCC or the Congregational Church downtown.

1. Beowulf
I’ll get you, Grendel,
and your bigger momma, too,
ere dragon eats me!

2. Canterbury Tales
Naughty tales amuse
pilgrims behaving badly
on road to nowhere

3. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Gatsby and Daisy
pretend to be something else
than what they must be

4. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Edmund Fitzgerald:
boat sank, iron lost, people died…
we miss them a lot.

5. Jerusalem by William Blake
God’s son came here once
maybe, and built a city
amid villainy.

6. The Ring Cycle by Richard Wagner
Stolen! Rhine-maid gold!
Suspect is an ugly dwarf!
Wait, it’s been returned.

7. The Odyssey by Homer
Ithaca’s distant
and Poseidon hates his guts;
getting home’s a bitch.

8. Inferno by Dante Aleghiri
Got lost in the woods;
Dead Poets’ Society
helped me out of Hell

9. Mary Poppins
Supercallifra
gelisticexpiali
docious… yep, just fits.

10. Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
Sam plants his garden
somewhat later than he planned
after adventures.

11. Paradise Lost by John Milton
England’s first sex scene
and Satan’s first appearance
should be less boring

12. Master and Margharita by Mikhail Bulgakov
Moscow, meet Satan:
He really enjoys it here
even if you don’t.

13. Gospel according to Luke by Luke
He was such a good
guy, we needed to kill him;
you’d have done the same.

14. Mirriam-Webster Dictionary
A to zymurgy
meanings arranged by spelling
for no one to read

15.The Iliad by Homer
Famous Achilles
kills Hector in fit of rage
for slaying his boy.

16.Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone by J.K. Rowling
Scarred but plucky kid
beats down towel-headed villain
who murdered his folks

17.To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Left-handed black gimp
blamed for white, right-handed rape
while children look on.

18.Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Expelled prep school kid
wanders in New York City
finding phoniness.

19.Le Morte D’Arthur by Sir Thomas Malory
Best king ever lived
sees kingdom wrecked and ruined
by rumors of cups.

20.History of the Peloponnesian War by Thucydides
Greek superpowers
wreck themselves in pointless war —
while Macedon… waits…

21. Gilgamesh
He met this old guy
who said that death was normal
so he came back home.

22. Song of Roland
Stupid fuck-tard knight
doesn’t blow the alarm horn
until it’s too late.

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4 comments

  1. Yeah, I thought of that one on the ride home. It’s disturbing, it’s ugly, and it’s on-target.

    You rocked last night. You were amazing. I had to remind myself to breathe on occasion.

    • Yeah, I thought of that one on the ride home. It’s disturbing, it’s ugly, and it’s on-target.

      You rocked last night. You were amazing. I had to remind myself to breathe on occasion.

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