Near the beginning of the Guy Gavriel Kay book, Lions of Al-Rassan, there’s a guy who doesn’t go to a big party because he’s suffering from a temporary but painful medical condition, and his doctor won’t let him go. Everyone else who goes to the party gets killed, and the guy with the medical condition gets to flee the city because he’s recovered sufficiently to get up and go.
Well, I have what that guy had.
Kidney stones. Two of ’em. One is about 2mm in diameter; the other is about 5mm in diameter. Both of them are smaller than can be broken up by ultrasound; both of them probably have to pass without a whole lot of help or influence from me or doctors. The stones moved on Sunday; that’s why I was in so much pain, as reported. Yesterday, they moved again, just a little, around 11 am. I saw a doctor at 2:30, and got the full diagnosis today.
Passing a kidney stone is kind of like the male-equivalent of birthing a child. That’s what they tell me.
I am drinking water like crazy. I have pissed more times today than you’ve probably pissed in the last week (unless you have bladder problems). Whenever the stones aren’t moving, they don’t hurt. When they do move, it’s like having liquid fire from your spine to your bladder, right along the curve of your hip. My fencing matches for this weekend have been cancelled; my off-campus duties have been shifted to other people; and the school is really supporting me.
I had to explain to five classes today, “if I collapse in pain in the middle of my lecture over the next few weeks, don’t panic; it’s a kidney stone, not a heart attack. I’ll be fine — just go get an adult, and do your homework.” Some of the explanations were a little more involved than that; one class didn’t know what the kidneys were or what they did. Elementary biology as part of a history class…. sigh.
Basically, I’ve turned myself into a living biology lesson for the whole school. They never tell you, anywhere, that being a teacher involves being entertaining and interesting even when you’re talking about your own medical conditions.
Further news as it develops.