Friday Memos

To: Winter
Re: Recent Behavior

You came in without flirtation this year. No flurries, no spiderwebs of frost on the windows. No, not even cold clouds of breath like steam. You just put your toothbrush on the sink, your laundry in the washing machine, and moved right in, never asking if it was ok. I like you better when you flirt, Winter. Do you think you could manage some mild flirtation in December before you next bury the car?

To: Fencer PB
Re: Your recent performance

I have a team to run. When you show up without shoes for running, or don’t bother to show up at all, you make me look bad. Now I’ve got to have you on my team, but you’re behaving like a moron. Why should I bother to have you on the team when you don’t do all the exercises the team does? With your shoes or in them, PB — or find another team to goof around with. We have work to do.

To: History Department Comments
Re: Editing

I have plans for Saturday evening. I would like you to take as little of my time on Saturday after the history exam as can be managed. Please come prepared, alert, and finished in rough draft form before Saturday, so that I don’t have to waste my vacation time on inane bits of fluff.

To: Vacation
Re: Anticipation

Please don’t suck.

To: Love
re:

Thanks very much.

To: Student D&D Players
Re: Playing

Don’t ask me to design an adventure, prep a map, write a dungeon, roll up a couple of dozen monsters to populate it, and then bail on me at the last minute. I know you have things to do, but my time is valuable, too.

To: Dorm Kid SM
Re: Your room

You went away on vacation early, and despite repeated warnings, you left your room a mess. I am very much looking forward to confiscating your XBox, your TV, your cell-phone and your computer when you get back. You’ve been warned frequently enough. Now it’s time for judgment

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