Do one thing at a time…

So yesterday…
we were in the shower…
and I was getting a treat. My beloved started giving me a blow-job.

Now, this is very nice. I wanted to enjoy it. But!
But I’m in the shower!
The purpose of a shower is to get clean.
I wasn’t quite clean yet.
I wasn’t quite done washing myself yet.

So I got it into my head — you know how these things happen when you’re slightly distracted — well, I’ll just wash my face quickly, and then I can enjoy this blowjob properly.

So I soaped my face.

At this moment, my beloved gave me a moment of startlement.
I took a sharp breath in through my nose, because the bar of soap was right over my mouth,
and my head went back in an involuntary reaction to the wonderful thing my beloved had just done to me.

Soap. Water.

Mucus membrane.

I wish to inform you that these three items are not meant to be combined.

Ever.

The result is a horrific burning sensation in the nostrils and sinus cavity that may be compared with tilting your head back and inserting two open Tabasco Sauce bottles into your nose.

Fortunately, your body’s immune system has a protective measure to prevent permanent damage.
My sinuses went into immediate overtime production of mucus.

Mucus is mostly water.
Water reacts with soap to produce lather.
Lather on mucus membranes causes a burning sensation.

This burning sensation now fills the entire space between my eyes and upper chest to about the level of my shoulders, and from my mouth back to about — oh, my spinal cord.

So. Let this be a lesson to you.

Don’t try to do anything while getting a blow job.
Just relax and enjoy it, ok?

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22 comments

  1. Tom’s Right

    That’s right up there with “don’t put your penis against a cold flag pole”.

    So, Andrew, do your students read your journal? Or their parents? Just curious.

  2. Tom’s Right

    That’s right up there with “don’t put your penis against a cold flag pole”.

    So, Andrew, do your students read your journal? Or their parents? Just curious.

    • Re: Tom’s Right

      Not as far as I know… actually, I take that back. One of my former students reads my journal occasionally.

      Oh, and I’m supposed to remind you…

      1) e-mail Midnite, Morwen and Jimi ’bout the party, since Morwen & Jimi’s email bounced back to me. I must have a letter off or something. Ask Midnite’s partner/friend re: DJing.

      2) speakers, 1/8″ cable, amplifier for Saturday.

      3) Something else, but I forget what and can’t find the book right now.

      4) Something else, but I forget what and can’t find the book right now.

      5) The list of guests is up to like 52… I’m scared and excited all at the same time.

  3. Some good comes from this…

    …you now have an important and educational story to tell young men during their Rite of Passage.

    “And another stupid thing you should never do…”
    Tom

  4. Some good comes from this…

    …you now have an important and educational story to tell young men during their Rite of Passage.

    “And another stupid thing you should never do…”
    Tom

  5. Don’t try to do anything while getting a blow job.
    Just relax and enjoy it, ok?

    this is not something you should need to be told.
    this is part of your DNA.

  6. Don’t try to do anything while getting a blow job.
    Just relax and enjoy it, ok?

    this is not something you should need to be told.
    this is part of your DNA.

  7. Most accidents happen around the corner from the person’s house. In this case the shower.
    Love you, even if you do attempt to wash your face while getting a blow job.

  8. This is true, but it was my face, and I thought well, it’ll just be a moment…

    WRONG THINKING WILL BE PUNISHED, apparently.

    Love you. Thank you.

    • This is true, but it was my face, and I thought well, it’ll just be a moment…

      WRONG THINKING WILL BE PUNISHED, apparently.

      Love you. Thank you.

      • Most accidents happen around the corner from the person’s house. In this case the shower.
        Love you, even if you do attempt to wash your face while getting a blow job.

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