Today I was recovering from wedding celebrations that went late into the night, and which involved deep discussions about teaching, magic, sexuality, ritual, and prayer. Fortunately, or unfortunately, these conversations never completely wove together, but they went deep, and they lasted until nearly 1:30 this morning. I’m finally home after a long and complex day, and I nearly didn’t get to do my tai chi practice at all today. It would have been a shame, though, because Thursday will mark more than half a year. So, about halfway through the morning, even after my first coffee of the day, I slunk away from the crowd of people having an ongoing breakfast and continuing conversations, to do my tai chi practice down by the river. I don’t think I was missed for the 20-25 minutes it took me, and I even had time to stop by my crash space, and clean up, and otherwise prepare for early-afternoon activities.
Given how close I came to missing today’s practice, though, I have to wonder at this point… what would be the effect of a missed day, either for illness or for tragedy or travel? Would it matter? Would I have to begin the count again at 0? Would I stop this featured daily presentation cold-turkey, and leave you all wondering if I’m still practicing daily? Would I read Day 365 a day late? Would I also be a dollar short?
While I practiced, during a spin just before the windmill kick, I turned on the grass outside my tent, and ripped up a section of moss. Horrors! The rest of the world didn’t seem to notice, though. The folks up at the main house kept talking and carrying on. The brook beside me kept flowing. The cars kept whizzing by on the highway. The birds kept chirping.
Even so, I made a point of restoring the mossy bits to their proper place, and trying to connect everything to the underlying dirt again. It may or may not be successful, but the underlying truth remains the same: we’re here to engage in a process of gradual repair, and when we do damage, we have to take the time to make the repairs, too. I think I should just keep doing tai chi daily, and not worry about what happens if I miss a day. Concerning myself with that unlikelihood means that I leave open the possibility. And it’s just not open to discussion right now.