The Saturn Neptune conjunction of 20 February 2026 followed by the Sun-Neptune conjunction on 22 March 2026 (hymn for the conjunction was published here) occurred in my fifth house of pleasures and hobbies, and led to me re-starting a roleplaying game after almost a decade away. My group met that evening on 20 February, and then again on 10 March and then on 24 March. The Tuesday session this past week went off the rails quite a bit from my plan… and the PCs wound up in a bar favored by the fisher-folk in this particular village.

So it was natural for them to ask the house band (not a very good band, but a house band) to play a pirate song, and I wasn’t really ready for that. But I chose to write one afterward — and to use a tune for it that most any person with even a basic understanding of singing could probably give a rough approximation of it.

Pirate Ballad

to the tune of “Gilligan’s Island“
by Andrew Watt for his D&D game

Old Brendan Twist was a sailor fine
A navigator too
But never saved up coin enough
To keep his lover true (2x)

He ventured out one blust’ry day
With a crew of hardened tars
Their ship before the wind made way
Beyond the reefs and bars (2x)

A merchantman, they soon espied
With half its needed crew,
Her captain inexperienced —
To ocean he was new (2x)

The captain hailed to Brendan Twist,
And asked him for some aid,
“We’ve gotten turned ‘round in the mist,
Our course we have mislaid" (2x)

Now Brendan was a cunning dude,
And asked to come on board;
As none at all would think it rude,
If he saw their cargo hoard (2x)

They tied up their small fishing boat
and clambered up the side;
And found the finest ship afloat
In all the seas so wide. (2x)

The fifteen sailors Brendan led,
All marveled at their chance;
The other crew were almost dead
And fevered as in trance (2x)

So Brendan Twist then took command
And brought that ship to shore;
He took the cargo on the land
And sold what was in store (2x)

The shore-men praised him with acclaim,
For silks from far Huan-Di,
The goodwives, too, they cheered his name
For spices given for free (2x)

But when the cargo petered out —
There were no goods to sell,
The folks held captain Twist in doubt,
And put his crew through hell (2x)

So Captain Twist now called his men
And made his words their snare,
“Let’s go out on the sea again
And take from ships our share!" (2x)

Quick as hawks they raised their sails
And struck from hidden bays
Passing ships expected whales
But pirates blocked their ways. (2x) 

Aye, Captain Twist he rules the sounds
Between the western isles!
His pirate crews still make the rounds,
With ships of many styles (2x)

They moor their ships in hidden coves
Then strike with sudden speed;
They overwhelm their target’s decks
Take what they want or need (2x) 

So if you plan to travel far,
Remember this advice;
Take a gift for Captain Twist
And if he catches you, be nice. (2x)

Twist’s lovers now are quite content
with booty from far shores
and for the goods and coin they get —
doesn’t matter if he snores! (2x)

Do you want to see the poetic content I create for my roleplaying games? Would you be more likely to be interested if it also included notes on how to use it in your own game? Let me know.

It’s worth saying that Captain Brendan Twist could be a Big Bad Evil Guy (BBEG) for a low-level campaign: he’s implied to be a successful pirate captain with more than one ship under his command, which would mean several smaller ships, and a series of small adventures defeating the lesser crews here and there — disrupting smuggling operations, protecting cargoes, and finding the hiding places of already-captured goods (and possibly rescuing captured merchants or sailors from the vessels Twist has already taken).

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