I did my tai chi this morning. But I can’t say that I did it well. I’m hampered by a number of factors— a lack of relatively flat ground outside, weather challenges where I am, narrow spaces indoors. But really, I don’t feel like doing an elaborate process. That’s the reason I only did one iteration of the form today.
I’m going to try again in a bit. But really, a big part of me doesn’t want to today. I did the minimum, that’s enough. Right? Wrong. I’m not going to let this lassitude win.
I go outside, and do seven more versions of the routine in the driveway. Eight iterations of the form, not all at once.
Why was that so difficult? What was it about today that made this tai chi practice so challenging? Was it the car ride up to Maine that did me in, yesterday? Is it accidie? Is it the sense of not wanting to be a bother on the other people in the house? Is it the sense of doing work while on vacation?
Maybe some combination of these. I don’t know. I don’t care. Getting the eight iterations of the form done was hard enough; I haven’t done push-ups or qi gong forms or anything like that. I feel like it’s an incomplete practice. But, on the other hand, I managed to fight through the original lassitude, and get through the principal practice that I’m trying to change. So I think that’s OK.
This is going to be simple. Not necessarily easy, but simple.