I woke up this morning completely unwilling to do tai chi. When this happens there’s really only one solution: do it backwards. So, I did my eight tai chi forms. At the end, my body seemed to say, “that’s enough, right?” So then I did Eight Pieces of Silk, and then Five Golden Coins. And I ended with 20 push-ups.
I’m somewhat sweaty at the end. I’m not breathing hard, I’m not stressed out. But I’m done. Part of that feels like cheating. Part of me is still saying, “You don’t really want to do the whole tai chi form-to-completeness, do you?” It’s like part of me still doesn’t believe that I’m already done.
There was, in today’s work, this same sense of success, this same sense of energetic movement but also stable forms. That is, I felt that the strength is building in my presses and pushes, my rollbacks and my snakes creeping down. I feel the growing capacity of my body to do the outward movement, the inward movement, the upward, the downward, and the splitting. The breathwork is the only one that doesn’t really come naturally— that tighten the abdomen on the inhale, expand the abdomen on the exhale is really challenging. But even the footwork tips I got while on vacation/retreat, are starting to take root in my rootedness. I like that.