There’s a part of me that wants to throw in the towel and quit. I’m not listening to it, but it’s there. So are dozens of other opinions about this work: that I should go hardcore, quit my job and do tai chi, all day every day (not ready for that); that I should get up earlier and do a more serious set and maybe add in some yoga; that I should really redo my whole inaugural year because a lot of those days were not really my best, top-quality form. Plus there’s the one that says to back to bed, and another that says just shower, drink your coffee and read the paper.
Wow. So here’s this multiplicity of voices in my head, all urging me to various behaviors and stances and mindsets which have more or less validity as courses of action — some extreme, some not so much — and the voice that gets listened to is the voice that says, “get up, do two qi gong forms and a tai chi form, and don’t worry about if it’s perfect or not. There’s always tomorrow for that, of it doesn’t happen today.”
It’s kind of a middle way. Right? I mean, I’m not going hard core, but neither am I lazing in bed (well, I am, to write this, but that’s not what I mean). I’m trying to steer a middle route between not doing anything, and being so over-the-top that I’m unrecognizable.
I don’t think either end of the spectrum will be any more possible in another twelve days or so. It won’t be possible to do nothing, but neither will it be easy to go hardcore and do tai chi all the time. I’ve begun a practice, and set out on a path, and not much more.