I’m not sure I have any idea what to write today.
I mean, I’ve been at this a while. I have physical issues at the moment — the ‘grabber’, as my mother calls it, in my lower left back, is back. But I can have an absolutely awesome workout even with a mild ache in a place that I’m not used to having a mild ache. It’s odd — will the workout of the two qi gong forms loosen it up, or release it? Will I do more damage to myself, or am I actually improving my health?
In general, I find that doing tai chi aids my health — it makes me healthier and more attuned to my body, not less. If I am in the middle of a form, and I discover that the pain increases, I can stop.I can recognize when I’m hurting myself, and cease movement. But I can’t know this when I’m fresh out of bed. I have to make the trial, and see if I can do the form, before I can know if I genuinely am too hurt to continue.
And gradually I discover that I’m not too hurt. It’s just another case of the Dweller on the Threshold come to trouble me in a new guise: this time as a mild ache in my lower left side — a tension that eases almost as soon as I begin work. A tension which returns almost as soon as I sit down. Here’s the real challenge. This ‘grabber’, as my mother calls it, is going to keep me up and moving for most of the day, rather than at my desk. By itself, this is no bad thing. We’re supposed to be movers, us human beings. But it’s hard to move all the time in a professional job. Hmmm.
I imagine that the tensions here will sort themselves out in due time. In the meantime, there’s work to be done.