In the last few days, I’ve had conversations with a lot of people related to organization and space-setting. I’ve come to what I think may be an important insight:
Personal management, both of space and time, is too important to be left to the uptight.
Phrased another way,
Organization is for flakes, too.
Now, I don’t think of myself as a flake, although flakiness certainly enters into some of what I do. And most people don’t think of themselves as flakes, even if they are to the rest of us.
So I’ve decided to compile a set of maxims or aphorisms about getting rid of junk that may appeal to the pronoiac, New-Age navel-gazer in your life, who may very well be you:
1. Your chi flows in harmony with the eternal jin-energy only if your house is clean and organized.
2. Piles of clutter are fairy rings for boggarts, boggans and other spirits of negativity.
3. You don’t have to free your house elves; just give them less work by cleaning up.
4. Your stuff is clogging the free radicals in the ionosphere.
5. It’s bad karma to leave so much stuff lying around.
6. Good karma will accrue to you from recycling and releasing your accumulations of unnecessary possessions to the universe.
7. You’ll have space to lay out your yoga mat when you get rid of that awful coffee table.
8. Those computer games you don’t play are releasing harmful CFCs and radiation into your personal space, man.
9. Your house has some good vibes since you cleaned up, dude.
10. The Tree of Life spreads its sephirotic branches more easily in open spaces.
11. The holiest place in the Divine Temple was completely empty.
12. You will improve the flow of the Light by clearing some stuff out of your house.
13. Your Feng Shui bagua chart is blocked by this ugly sofa/ripped loveseat/grandma’s broken chair.
14. The Daemons of Bad Finance are really attracted to this stack of unopened bills.
15. Burning incense or sage isn’t going to clear your space as quick as throwing shit away.
16. Before setting circle with your coven, clear space by ritually throwing away extra stuff that doesn’t belong in your circle or your house.
17. A real witch draws strength from the orderliness of the universe: as above, so below.
18. Your crap gets in the way of a houseful of welcome guests bringing wonderful presence and presents.
19. Love flows into empty rooms more easily than into crowded rooms.
20. Western dragons are evil and lie around on heaps of treasure; Eastern dragons are good and dance and play everywhere in heaven and earth.