1) What is your worst trait, and how does it affect those around you?
One of my ‘worst’ traits is also one of my core traits. I tend to be introverted, and it usually takes me a lot of effort and energy to get out of the house and hang with people. Being at the party or gathering or whatever is fine; getting out of the house in the first place is a real chore. Part of it is a genuine need for solitude and space, but lots of people assume it’s that I’m blowing them off for some reason. Not so. I have a really insular attitude toward the world at times.
2) What do you look for in a friend? What do you avoid?
Moderation in all things, including moderation. I like people to be serious, but I tend to avoid those who are too serious. I like people who are silly, but I actively dislike people who seem too silly. These are not scientific categories, I know, but it’s still true. Overly giggle-y people bug the hell out of me. (particularly overly giggley people who put ‘tee-hee!’ and ‘he he he he’ in their e-mails. LOL is fine, but spelling out tee hee is just wrong. I mean, really. Do you take us for fools??).
I tend to agree with Cicero, who says that you have lots of acquaintances in your life, but maybe only three or four friends. There’s few people you trust enough or count on sufficiently to call at four o’clock in the morning. I’d guess I have three or four people like that, right now, and I count myself lucky to have them. You have to have a sense of loyalty to that person, and trustworthiness, and genuine mutual affection.
That said, if my trust is betrayed, I will shut someone out, post-haste. Every gathering I go to, someone always shows up who wants to complain about someone I don’t even know yet. Who wants me to stay away from X or Y because of Z, or for the sake of P, D, or Q. It drives me crazy, and I tend to try to avoid the people who do all the complaining. Who wants such negative energy around them?
So to simplify my answer, I look for people who enrich my experience of life and who return the same courtesies I give to them. I avoid those who demand that I expend my strength and intelligence on petty jealousies, dislike, hatred and tedious power-fantasies. Why bother?
3) What is your favorite color, and don’t you hate these double questions?
Blue, that shade of indigo the upper sky turns when the sun sets, the first stars appear in the west and the clouds turn the color of high-quality smoked salmon, and no.