I just submitted 20071 words to White Wolf as my first draft. There are weak points in the text, some flaws and faults, and probably a whole lot of things in need of heavy correcting. But the thing is done.
The responses to my last post, about war against fundamentalist Islam, have on the whole been either positive but recommending against sending it, or rather critical. So I’m not sending it.
Of late, musing on political matters, I’ve felt very much like a peasant. I don’t have the cash to be able to donate to the Democratic candidates, and my job is busywork enough without being able to volunteer for Dean or Kuhnich or Clark or any of the others. I can’t act upon the political process nationally, I can only stand on the sidelines and observe. Writing to my Congressman and Senators has gotten me letters full of platitudes about how they’re watching out for my interests in Washington, even as they take positions — in thier own letters to me — flatly contradicting what I asked them to do. Fat lot of good a vote does me each November, right? It’s a hard thing to discover that your opinion doesn’t matter — your friends don’t share your views, and regard you as misguided or wrong-headed; your elected officials do as they will and offer little comfort that things will get better in the ways you want; and that the great and the powerful don’t want your advice and couldn’t care less that you’re trying to give it. I don’t have a net worth of $300 million or more, I can’t start a business in my spare time (what spare time?), or get people off unemployment, and I live comfortably on what I make but there’s not much left over with which to remake the world. I can contribute, in small ways, to how others change the world, but any of my vision is likely going to be lost in the process, because my donations are so small.
Makes me glad I have Leah in my life right now, and makes me glad to be a teacher. This thing I’m feeling right now is depression, but I saw one of my former students yesterday, and good things came of that. I have to make them grow.