I don’t know what to write about this morning’s tai chi practice. I did it. It was. I feel stronger. I felt more awake as a result of the work, and I feel blessed to be able to do this work. There’s not much else to say about it, I think. Druidry, 10 push-ups, two qi gong forms, and a tai chi form. What else is there to say? I can’t really think of anything else.
Let me see if I can think of something that went wrong, or particularly right? There were a couple of places where my breathwork was not ideal. I’m trying to do a combination of four breaths per named move, and four breaths per movement regardless of whether it has a name or not. It’s easy to slide between one movement and the next if you’re not paying attention, and it’s easy to lose one’s attention. I didn’t lose it today, but I could tomorrow or the next day.
But the structure of what I’m doing these days has become integrated in large measure into my day. Maybe that’s an illusion — it’s awkward to be saying this on Monday (Moonday), which is a day of illusion and confusion and false image — and I would let go of this the moment that I stopped writing about it. But I think I’m nearing the end of the writing process about my tai chi practice.
Why is that?
I have a process now for improving the quality of my tai chi now, from day to day and from month to month. I’ve largely let go of attachment about how tai chi ‘should’ turn out on a day-to-day basis, while also having a standard minimum for operation. And … and this is the awkward bit … I do have a standard for doing some writing about it … Oh. Hmmm.
The nice thing about this work is that it has a tendency to break down illusions and delusions. I’m going to be writing about tai chi for a while yet, because I’m still using the audience this blog attracts, no matter how small or how large it gets, because you’re part of the process I use to confirm that I’ve done the work.
You’re an essential part of this project. Without you continuing to express interest in the work, I might not continue. Without feeling like I need to write for you my audience, would I get up every day to do this work? I don’t know. For now, it continues.
One audience member here! Question: Did you get a chance to look over those books and if so, did you find a connection between your practice and acedia? Or another mask of the Dweller?
Not yet, Christina. But thank you for reminding me to look at that. I’m basically booked as far as my reading goes until the late-middle of July, though.
My thinking is, though, that the noonday demon is probably different.