Aborted my walk to the Bean for coffee. Met up on the way with RC and his sons, who desperately needed to get a car to the garage before noon. So I assisted. That’s what I do. Afterwards, we met Ben for lunch at Wind Tiki for chinese buffet food. In essence, I played hooky from writing.

I am now back at my desk with all sorts of fresh ideas. Sometimes you have to walk away in order to reflect on what you still have to do. In today’s case, I have to write about the structure of the army to follow up on the structure of the fleet; fortunately much of the work has been done for me. Much later this afternoon I will tackle the spy network. I still plan to go to poetry tonight, to talk up WordSeed on Saturday.

-Today is the 68th anniversary of H.P. Lovecraft’s death. (Factoid courtesy .) In his honor, I present a song parody, to the tune of the Tiny Toon Adventures theme song. (The author of verses 1, 2, 5, and 6 is unknown. Verses 3 and 4 are by .) I am amused.

Cthuloid Toon Adventures
We’re slimy, we’re squishy, we’re all a little fishy
You humans are delish-y when we’re feasting on your brains!
We’re abysmal creatures with gross horrific features
Against Cthuloid preachers all the good guys go insane!

So here’s Miskatonic U. where all the creatures dwell
Take a look at a mythos book and find yourself in hell!
Your guns aren’t defective, they’re just not real effective
Our feast of flesh and souls will surely taste so swell!

From Innsmouth to Dunwich, beings outre’ and eldritch
Worship those Outer Gods which writhe and gibber mindlessly!
To Arkham and Boston, come dreams across the eons
To make submissive peons of artists, poets and thee!

The spooky tales of Lovecraft are without reason or rhyme
“The Lurker In The Gateway Meets The Colour Out Of Time!”
Read with fascination, and a little trepidation
Our feast of flesh and souls is going to taste so fine!

Your magic and voodoo will not stop the great Cthulhu
Don’t eat with the Tchoo Tchoo; the Mi-go steal your brain!
Here’s Nyarly, Tsathoggua, and there’s flaming Cthugha
Ol’ windy Ithaqua, and don’t say Hastur’s name!
[Aaaiiieee!]

Welcome to dread R’lyeh where the angles are all wrong
You’ll lose your soul and go insane if you stay here too long!
We’re slimy, we’re squishy, we’re all a little fishy
Our feast of flesh and souls is just about to start!
[Ding da ling ding ding]
…And now we’ll eat your heart!

UPDATE: 2:51pm I think I just passed my second stone. Rather than being white and crystalline, this one is lumpy, brown, and has crystalline white things growing on its surface. It looks vaguely like a pair of miniature moose horns. I put it in a plastic bag, and I’m about to call my doctor.


My life is rated R.
What is your life rated?

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14 comments

  1. Wow! That was the most awesome lyrical parody I’ve seen in a long while. Takes me back….to when I wrote a full parody of Billy Joel’s “Piano Man”, titled “Barista Man” based on my experience running Duke’s new coffee shop. I did that at my dorm’s Open Mic Night and brought down the house. ^__^

    Funny thing–I somehow got promoted manager posthumously. Someone came across a badge that said “Yang Song: Manager” months after I left the Beanery. Not exactly like having a new periodic element named after me, but a nifty thing to find out.

  2. Wow! That was the most awesome lyrical parody I’ve seen in a long while. Takes me back….to when I wrote a full parody of Billy Joel’s “Piano Man”, titled “Barista Man” based on my experience running Duke’s new coffee shop. I did that at my dorm’s Open Mic Night and brought down the house. ^__^

    Funny thing–I somehow got promoted manager posthumously. Someone came across a badge that said “Yang Song: Manager” months after I left the Beanery. Not exactly like having a new periodic element named after me, but a nifty thing to find out.

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